Parents, let me suggest a gift you may want to give yourselves this Christmas — which could result in a terrific gift for your children. I have often used “good news/bad news” stories in order to make a point. Today, I use a “good news/good news” story. The good news is, due to the economic downturn many parents surveyed say their children will be receiving fewer gifts for Christmas. The good news is, according to many psychologists this is good for the children.

There is a video game called “Too Many Ninjas,” which to me aptly describes the lives of children today. The player is a sword-wielding warrior who is attacked by ninjas coming from all directions. The purpose is to see how many ninjas he or she can kill. Uplifting, huh? It’s about as uplifting as children being overwhelmed by too many toys, games, TV programs and the Internet, while also staying on the go with scheduled activities. Psychologists claim children have lost more than 12 hours of free time a week in the past two decades — and they become frustrated over so many choices to make in a shorter period of time.

Addressing this problem is a book published in 2009 that continues to grow in popularity in homes and schools. Written by Kim John Payne, M.Ed., “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids,” helps parents to reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need, allowing their children’s attention to focus and their individuality to flourish. It also teaches parents how to worry and hover less — and how to enjoy their own lives and their children more.

According to the author, today’s busier, faster, supersized society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. As the pace of life continues to accelerate, with too much stuff, too many choices and too little time, children feel the pressure. They can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. With 18 years as a school counselor and 15 years as a private family counselor-therapist, Payne provides inspiration and a blueprint for change to parents who want to slow their children’s lives down but don’t know where to start. His major points include:

Streamline your home environment. The average child has more than 150 toys (and will get more this Christmas). Payne offers tips for reducing the amount of toys, books and clutter — as well as the lights, sounds and general sensory overload that crowd the space young imaginations need in order to grow.

Establish rhythms and rituals. Predictability (routines) and transparency (knowing the day’s plan) are soothing pressure valves for children. Payne shares workable ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes — and to recognize if your child is overwhelmed.

Schedule a break in the schedule. Too many activities may limit children’s ability to motivate and direct themselves. Payne shows how to establish intervals of calm in your child’s daily torrent of constant doing and how to familiarize yourself with the pros and cons of organized sports and other “enrichment” activities.

Scale back on media and parental involvement. Manage your child’s “screen time” to limit the endless and often scary deluge of information and stimulation. Back out of hyper-parenting. Payne emphasizes that parental hovering is really about anxiety. He says that by doing less and trusting more, parents can create a sanctuary that nurtures children’s identity, well-being, and resiliency as they “grow slowly into themselves.”

Some parents and schools are declaring Payne’s program to be a “manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood.” That’s why I think it might be a great gift for you — and your child — this Christmas.

— © Carl Mays, author and speaker. E-mail to carlmays@carlmays.com. His books are available in stores, on www.carlmays.com and other Internet locations.